another day...another idea

So now I'm fixated on needing a new camera...a Canon dSLR to be exact. I don't really need it, but I would LOVE it. For a few reasons...I want to be a photographer...like a real life, I can make money off photos that I take, photographer...and well, lets face it, you can't do that with a point n shoot. I have my camera all picked out, and so far have $94.32 saved (just in change and 2 $1 bills) only about $700 to go. Anyone wanna help a starving artist out? What pictures of something in particular? Want one of your own pictures edited...of heck just want to donate to my cause? J/K (kinda).

I'm in the process of creating an online store that I'm putting alot of my photos in...then I just have to figure out prices (which I might do on a case by case basis, depending on what each person wants. http://colormesillyphotography.webs.com/

In other news...I kinda feel like crap today...lots of "electrical shocks" just, not myself...I hate that it's taking so long to get my EEG done, and I hate that I had to come off so many meds...but on a bright note, I've decided to take this time to get off of ALL of my meds, except my sleeping pill, and Klonopin. Other then that, it's all going...at least until I find out if I have to be on seizure meds...but if they are NES then seizure meds won't help anyway...ok, now I'm rambling about that.

Nick and I have had an up and down day...mostly down...but I guess that's to be expected under the circumstances...but it doesn't make it hurt anyless. I hate that I feel like I can't have a rational conversation with him...everything we say or do ends up in a fight...I want to comprimise about the camera, and he refuses.

I want my husband back...I want my best friend back...I know that he's stressed about work and me. And I know that I'm short because I'm so sick of being sick, and not getting any answers...I really want to go to Boston to Brigham & Women's because I'm sick of getting the run around here...he wants to wait until the end of next month to see what the EEG says...I don't even have a "real" doctor...I have a nurse practitioner (not that I'm knocking NP's) but I've got alot going on...and she doesn't seem concerend enough to send me to a new neurologist...well damn it, I am. I want answers, and I want them NOW...and I think I deserve that much at least...anyone ever been to BW in Boston? Good, bad, ugly? Anyone know how I can get that accomplished? Do I have to get a referal...do I just go there, and pray that they admit me until they can find an answer...what do I do?

I'm open to ANY and ALL insight, advice, ANYTHING...I can't take much more of this

~A~

food, fun, and the Beach Boys...Fogfest 09

Ok, so it's really not called Fogfest, but it might just as well have been...it was misty, and foggy and sticky, and just plain miserable for awhile there. I don't know what I would have done with out Amy there to keep me entertained, and calm (yes, there's another Amy...she's my name Twinkie!)

We got to the station about 1230 with all the food, the guys jumped right in and started helping, and I can thank them enough. 20 pounds of potatoes later, we had some jammin potato salad (if I do say so myself). I only did 5 pounds of pasta salad, but it was MORE then enough. Something like 15-17 pounds of hamburger became my famous bugers. and then there was hotdogs and chips and stuff too.

The guys went to get staged before the crowds could interfer too much, and the just sent the unit truck back for us, and the food when we were ready. as far as I can tell, the food went off without a hitch, and was a hit. Everyone kept thanking Amy and I, and telling us how good the food was, so that made me feel good.

The Navy Band Northeast played, and they were really good. I got some great shots of them playing. Unfortunately, by the time the Beach Boy came on it was so misty that I couldn't get a good shot of them...but they were great to listen to.

Once all was said and done, we went back to the station to unload everything, and I took the oportunity to get some really good pictures of parts of my favorite trucks...by the time it got dark, and all the stage lights were going, and from time to time a fire aparatus had stribes on, and people playing with all those light up thingys...I was having alot of "twinges" my fave, and all the way through both of my arms right down to my finger tips...I'm not sure if it was because I was tired, or if it really is that I'm bothered by strobe lights. Whatever...I just want to know, so that I know what situations I have to stay away from and hopefully can get on some meds that will help this crap...

Anyway...I think that's it for tonight, it's 0311 and I'm beyound tired...but keep and eye out tomorrow for a new picture post on Color Me Silly http://colormesillyphotos.blogspot.com/
have a great, erm, morning, all my fellow bloggers...blog ya later!

*hugs* & <3
~Amy~

Emotional Roller Coaster....and I want off

So, some may know, and some may not. The last 2 months have been an medical, and emotional roller coaster. I've been having an number of health problems and have basically been sent from one doctor to another, with no answers, and no help. Once the neurologist I was seeing told me there was nothing wrong with me neurologically, and there was nothing else that he could do for me, have a nice life, I lost hope. Thankfully, I had an appointment with my regular nurse practitioner (NP for short) the next day.

Nick and I went to the appointment, still not really holding out much hope, and thinking that our next move might be to go to Boston, to see if we could get some answers there. We were suprised to hear that my NP was DISGUSTED that the neuro had not at the very least ordered an EEG...after having symptoms such as blacking out while driving (not something I recommend AT ALL) and having muscle spasms that feel like electrical shocks, NP thinks it's high time I get an EEG. Great...that means we're at least starting to rule things out. Bad...I have to come off my preventitive migraine meds, cause they prevent seizures. Even worse I have to come off my anti-depressant, cause that can cause seizures. I was ok the first couple days. Today, I'm feeling more "twinges" as I nick named them. I'm hoping that tomorrow will be better.

In other news, an amazing friend, mentor, and over all awesome person, has given me an amazing gift this week. He has allowed me to borrow his Cannon Rebel XTi for a week (maybe more ;-) ). I went and picked it up today, and all I can say is, WOW...I've taken some amaing shots so far, which you can see at http://colormesillyphotos.blogspot.com

I'm taking the camera to the Beach Boys concert tomorrow, and hope to get some great shots. I'm also catering a cookout for the firefighters of NAVSTA Newport, as the are going to be standing by at the concert. And lets face it...a good cookout can make anyone happy, especially when it's catered by a chef, lol. Simple menu, my famous hamburgers/cheeseburgers. hotdogs, potato salad, pasta salad, chips...the whole 9...these guys are our family. Nick was on that department with this shift for a long time...and as with {most} firefighters, it's a brotherhood, and a bond that can not be broken, even once you work somewhere else. I love these guys, and they are, like I said, our family. I'm thrilled to be helping out by making their lunch/dinner.

Today started out a great day, but went down hil...as today is the first day with NO anti-depressants on board at all...I'm a bit over emotional (like more then usual) and I've spent the better part of the night crying hysterically.

Like I said it's been an emotional rollercoaster...and I'd really like it if the ride operator would stop the ride...cause, really...I want off....NOW.

I think that's enough drama for one night...I may or may not post tomorrow, it depends on when we get home...but I will definately be on http://colormesillyphotos.blogspot.com/ with lots of new pics on Monday!! so keeo your eye out.

As always...if you have a friend that you think will like our ramblingness...email me munchkin.amy{@}gmail.com with their email, and that you are recruting them...I'm always up for new readers, but perfer that they have a good word in from one of y'all

Goodnight y'all

~Amy~